It's the face you make when I go
by eden alice
Summary: "But what about me? I need you too." Carla has to face Michelle before she leaves with Peter.


_Written (painfully) on my phone as my laptop is dead so it is not as long or as detailed as I'd like. Was written before watching any of this weeks Corrie so may not match up but this is set during those spoiler pics of Carla arguing with Leanne and Michelle. Because of laptop problems I may not be able to write much for a while so reviews would make me feel that extra bit better and appreciated. Hope you enjoy reading :)_

It's the face you make when I go

"Leanne leave." Michelle said suddenly as other woman ranted and pleaded. She watched her sister in law carefully. Saw the way the other dark haired woman refused to look anyone in the eye and bowed her head uncharacteristically meekly.

Instantly she knew that Carla was lying and it went deeper than trying to protect Peter. She wasn't just trying to get rid of a panicked Leanne; she was honestly trying to lie to both of them. And after everything they had been through together that hurt Michelle more than she thought it could.

"Leanne." Michelle tried again, her voice low but firm enough that the angry blonde stopped talking. Carla shot her a quick cautious glance like she knew she had been caught.

"Oh I get it," Leanne hissed a shaky laugh as she looked between the other two women, desperate tears made her eyes glassy "The Connor's closing ranks once again. Well you don't get to do that this time. Not when my son is out there terrified with his unstable excuse of a father."

Carla winced like she wanted to protest but could not bring herself to diminish the fears that she quietly shared, her guilt rendering her silent.

Michelle took charge taking the blond woman by the elbow and pulling gently towards the door trying to avoid further confrontation because things were already out of control.

"I promise you this isn't like that." She reasoned as Leanne scoffed. "Look I'm a mother too I understand. Just let me try to talk to her alone." She remembered all the times she thought she might lose Ryan and that horrid time she was told he wasn't her biological son.

Leanne relented a little at the depth of the expression within the other woman's dark eyes. She glanced over Michelle's shoulder to where Carla anxiously tried to pretend she could not overhear.

"I'll be outside." She growled finally before storming out and slamming the door behind herself.

An uncomfortable silence set over the flat as Carla finally openly met her friend's gaze, her arms wrapped protectively around her middle like she still expected a battle.

"Thanks Chelle it's not like I might need your support." Carla whispered tearfully.

Michelle rolled her eyes but her gaze softened. Her sister in law looked too small and fragile without her usual heels or designer outfit. She didn't like it. Over the last few months she'd thought she had seen the start of the return of the old Carla she knew so well. Only seeing her suddenly and willingly pulled into the insane and illegal plans of a fraught man it was all too clear how much of an unhealthy hold Peter had over her.

"Hey I am always on your side darling." She insisted moving to stand closer because standing at opposite ends of the room made it feel as if they were preparing to go into battle.

She took hold of Carla's hands and uncrossed her arms. "And that's why I'm worried about you. I can't just stand back and let you do this."

Carla smiled softly as she smoothly pulled out of Michelle's grasp.

"I have to go." But even the finality in her voice did nothing to disguise the slight hesitation.

"Its kidnapping Carla, it's illegal." Michelle warned trying to latch onto the last hint of rationality she saw in her determined friend.

"No it's not gone to court yet. Leanne doesn't have custody of Simon." Carla shook her head and turned away as she began to rifle through a draw in an attempt at ignoring the conversation.

"But you're still trying to runaway like some sort of criminal. You are still tried to lie to me." Michelle argued suddenly feeling very hurt that Carla would have left without an explanation or even a goodbye.

But Carla still refused to react as she pulled a passport from under a pile of old documents. She seemed as determined as Michelle had ever seen her but the way she refused to listen to reason was frightening.

"Disappearing into the sunset with a scared nine year old isn't going to convince anyone Peter's a stable father. He will never see Simon again once the police catch up with you. And believe me they will catch up with you." She continued bluntly knowing that no matter how much it hurt Carla never appreciated her trying to soften the blow.

"Don't you think I know that Chelle! Don't you think I've tried to reason with him? He is convinced this is his only chance." Carla exclaimed shutting the draw with more force than necessary as she turned to face the other woman, her skin pale with worry and exhaustion.

"Then why are you going!" Michelle shouted back mystified at how any of this was happening.

"Because I thought he was dead!" Carla chocked back a sob regaining her composure with her hand firmly over her mouth. "Because if I go with them I can make sure Si is safe, I can make sure Peter doesn't do anything stupid."

She was suddenly so grave and practical that Michelle knew she was torturing herself going over everything that could go wrong in her own head. And yet she refused to walk away.

"Sweetheart please don't think you have to throw your life away for him. Peter made his own mistakes you are not responsible for this." Michelle tried seeing the guilt flash painfully vivid within Carla's eyes. There had to be a way to get through to her.

"Aren't I?" Carla laughed turning the passport anxiously over in her hands.

"You've done nothing but done your best for him." Michelle reassured her wanting nothing more than to snatch the little red thing out of the smaller woman's hands and lock her in a cupboard until she started to behave reasonably. She couldn't believe how out of control things had gotten so quickly without her noticing. But then Carla had always been the best at keeping her problems bottled up.

"He threw his whole life away because of me. He may never see his son again because he put me first." Carla grimaced. "I'm not worth that kind of sacrifice."

Michelle hated when that nagging sense of self hatred seeped into Carla's words. No matter how illogical whenever something went wrong Carla would fall back into blaming herself and Michelle could never say anything to make her feel better. It scared her. Reminded her that it was only a few months ago that her friend had been suicidal and she didn't know how deep those dark thoughts still lingered.

Michelle silently cursed Peter. Something she'd secretly been doing for a while now.

"Please don't do this Car'." She pleaded, brow furrowed in desperation.

"Well I don't think Leanne is just going to let me walk out of here." Carla smiled dryly choosing to ignore the tears that had escaped Michelle's eyes. It was too uncomfortable for the both of them.

"You have got to take her to them." Michelle warned.

Carla nodded and frowned slightly as she stared past her friend for a moment. "I know. I'm relieved actually but Peter's going to hate me."

The urge to shake her was back again. "If he wants to blame you for salvaging the pieces of his sorry excuse of a life, let him. When things calm down he will understand."

Carla gripped the passport a little tighter and glanced down at it sadly. "Trouble is I don't think he is coming back from this. Not here, not with the way things are."

She seemed hesitant, choosing her words carefully as if there was something more behind them. For a long moment Michelle didn't quiet understand and then it hit her like a tone of bricks.

"Your going to go with him anyway," She accused "you are going to let Leanne have Si and then leave with Peter. Carla you can't."

"I have to." Carla insisted.

"You _really_ don't. Please just think about this!" Michelle tried but Carla's resolve refused to be shaken.

In a last ditch attempt Michelle reached out and grabbed at Carla trying to get the passport away from her, anything to make her listen. But Carla stepped out of her reach quickly so Michelle grabbed at her upper arm in an attempt to hold her still. But when Carla let out a small hiss of pain she immediately let go.

"Car'..." She trailed off, dread in her voice.

"Oh it's just a bruise Chelle." Carla scoffed dismissively.

"But Peter caused it?" Michelle demanded quickly narrowing her eyes ready to see through any lies she was about to hear.

"It doesn't matter. I aint some battered wife." Carla rolled her eyes.

"It doesn't matter." She parroted bitterly. "Show me Carla." She demeaned as disturbing images filled her head. After everything Carla had been through it became too easy to imagine the worst case scenario.

"No," Carla refused immediately before softening slightly at the look on her sister in laws face and explained.

"He was upset about losing Simon, we argued, he grabbed me to turn me around. There was nothing deliberate or abusive about it. I just bruise easily."

But that was enough to make Michelle curse the lumbering man who had put them all in such an extraordinary situation. Peter may not be anything like Frank but he could cause enough damage in his own self involved way.

She kept her anger quiet knowing if she tried to pick at the tremulous relationship then Carla would close down and refuse to listen entirely.

"It's still not good enough." She couldn't help but say.

"I know, none of this is sensible but I need him Chelle. And I may throw up at how cheesy it sounds but he needs me too." Carla smiled through her tears. One genuine little smile and it had been the first Michelle had seen in weeks. She just wished she could break that emotional dependency Carla had on the man.

"But what about me? I need you too Carla." She sniffed terrified of losing the only family she had left. If she was to let Carla walk away now there was a large chance she might never see her again.

"You don't need me darling. Besides you've got to keep the factory going for me and to keep an eye on my idiot brother. He's going to be using my flat so at least I won't have to worry about scummy tenants." Carla stroked the other woman's hair as she spoke. Her expression brave and reassuring through her tears.

"You told Rob already?" Michelle asked in surprise leaning into her friends touch.

Carla nodded, "He took it better than I thought even though he thinks I'm crazy he seems to understand."

There was a twinge of guilt as Michelle wondered if her conversation with Rob about his sister's recent history had been the reason for his sudden empathy. It wasn't like Rob to let anything go without a fight. He was too much like his sister.

"I need to know that you two will look after each other." Carla said pulling Michelle into a hug.

The contact was enough to break Michelle's barriers and she sobbed loudly as her crying deepened.

"But who is going to look after you?" She asked pitifully into Carla's shoulder breathing that constant and familiar sent of expensive yet subtle perfume.

"Oh you know me darling," Carla laughed. Pulling away enough to wink comically, "I always blag it." She grinned before Michelle pulled her into a tighter hug.

"I'm not going to be able to change your mind am I?" She asked already knowing the answer and hating it.

"Just promise me you will call or email or Skype, send a flaming carrier pigeon just stay in touch for once Carla." She begged.

"I promise Chelle." Carla whispered.

"I mean it." Michelle continued finding Carla's hand and tangling their fingers together. "If you are ever in trouble. If you ever need me just call and I will come get you." She implored.

"Like a flippin superhero aint ya." Carla said fondly swallowing back another wave of emotion as she wiped at her eyes with her free hand.

"I better get going before Leanne gets too desperate. Wish me luck."

"Good luck." Michelle wished that luck wasn't needed but she had not been that naïve for the longest time. She pulled the other woman in for one last hug, kissing her forehead as she tried to somehow slow time with her mind so the moment didn't have to end.

"I really love you." She declared tearfully as they pulled apart.

"Back at ya babe." Carla smiled that brilliant smile at her one last time, the one that no matter what made it seem like she had the whole world at her feet. And then she was gathering her bags and heading to the door.

Michelle didn't think she could stand to go to the train station with them. Given another chance she didn't think she'd let her friend make such a risky decision.

Instead she was left with the sound of retreating footsteps and distant voices as she tried to hold herself together long enough to find Rob. Needing the only other person who would understand what they had both lost.


End file.
